Prepare Psychologically

Here’s a quick summary of some of the things that really resonated with me in chapter three of pushback. This chapter covered the first stage of negotiation, preparing and getting yourself in the right head space.

I’m naturally an emotional person so I really enjoyed the description of how to use you emotions in positive way to generate energy in negotiations. Having emotions doesn’t have to be a negative thing. By acknowledging your emotions towards the negotiation and visualising the possible ways it could play out, then getting in touch with the driving force behind the emotions you can identify great arguments/reasons for your stance in a negotiation.You need to try to work through your emotions before the actual negotiation to get yourself in a calm and confident place rather than them coming out in the course of the conversation leading to a rambling and emotional argument. Planning and structuring your thoughts help the quality of your argument and help keep your emotions in check. I definitely agree with this, being prepared gives me confidence.

Another thing that really hit home was the need to understand yourself, your strengths and the environment you thrive in. I’ve been doing a lot of self reflection recently understanding who I am, who I want to be and what drives me. All sounds very deep but what I’ve realised is that the view I had of myself was outdated. Looking at what I’ve done, the strength I’ve had in certain situations and my ambitions for the future have given me a really sense of confidence and purpose. I’m fired up for the years ahead. There is so much I want to do. Things I maybe previously thought I couldn’t do because of self-imposed limitations. Regular self reflection is required because we develop all the time and what is important to us changes throughout our lifetime.

A really positive quote from the book is

Strengths are power you already have … weaknesses are even better - they’re opportunities for growth and learning

What a great way to look at things. It is something I’ll be reminding myself of when I’m having a perfectionist moment and coming down hard on myself. Instead of getting down I’ll come up with constructive ways to develop.There is a theme throughout the book about the importance of how you view things.Being optimistic reduces the risk you associate with things making you less defensive and calmer all leading to a better outcome.

The final point I want to cover is another thing I’ve been thinking about recently which is that negotiation involves another party. Being in tune with their feelings towards the topic and thinking about common ground are important. Aiming for a win win situation. Like if you send me to this conference I’ll do x,y,z blogs/talks to the company. Thinking about how to sell your outcome to them in a way that benefits or brings worth to them. I think being aware that how people perceive you going into a conversation is also important. Being known for the right reasons and having the respect of people makes life easier when you need to have a difficult conversation.

The next chapter covers doing you homework before a negotiation. Back with a post on that soon.